Dating my duaghter
Children feel these changes too, and for them they have suddenly lost the parent they always knew, someone else has taken their place and this is very frightening.
An anxiety with no name sets in, this anxiety can follow children throughout their entire life time and leave them with not being able to feel safe in their most intimate relationships.
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In this post I will address how children are effected by their parent’s affairs.
In many of these cases, the long-term effects on these children are not considered and the couple may be surprised years down the road at the amount of rage that the child has about what happened and how they were drawn in, and treated as another adult rather than the vulnerable child that they actually were.
There are reactions that occur while the affair is going on, but before it is disclosed, and reactions once an affair has been disclosed.
Asking a child, overtly or covertly, to take a side is like asking a child to lose that parent. Keeping secrets from one or both parents can create a terrible guilt and sense of self as destructive.
When thinking about young children It is important to keep in mind that the younger a child is, the more the family is experienced as if it is the whole world.
In subsequent posts I will discuss the effects on adult children of affairs and offer suggestions for parents involved in affairs on how to best support their children through this difficult time.
You may also wish to read about “Children of Affairs”.
After Disclosure Catherine Ford Sori has delineated children’s reactions to affairs according to age.
Younger children might not fully understand what has happened, but nevertheless can be traumatized by the change in the emotional climate in the home.